#the ones who even reblogged it to enable my shenanigans of the day deserve a medal lol (also some of those tags were the funniest ever hahh

[rox-of-iu]

Mu Qingfang lost both his rounds and is now officially out of the side-character poll....... .............. ......... .do not @ me, do not hit me up, I'm logging off forever......there is no winning ever

[chaoticbardlady99]

Sheep Thrills (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Synopsis: You and Astarion are often up to nothing good on your rest days. Shortly after the tiefling party, the group decides to hunt down Auntie Ethel in an attempt to rid the Sword Coast of the Hag.

When the group decides to send two people to scout a head- You and Astarion are far too keen to volunteer your time. You have your own research to conduct.

CW: Nothing really besides references to sex(?), just kind of fun and cute

Words: 1.6k

Photo belongs to idk who so please reach out if it’s yours!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! I am just terrible at responding 🙃

The sun holds itself proudly up in the sky and there is a nice breeze in the air. You and Astarion are perched up on one of the higher rock formations that peers down on the Sheep munching at the grass along the river. You have been staring at them for far too long, but the two of you are convinced that something is not right with these sheep.

You had both been absolutely fascinated with the damn things ever since you walked by them to get to Kagha’s note. When you and Astarion graciously agreed to look for the Hag’s house- all of your companions were suspicious.

They should be.

You found the Hag’s home and quickly began trying to unravel the secrets of the swamp instead of going back to camp. You’ve been out here for at least three more hours than you told them you would be.

It’s been a semi-uncomfortable, fun, and muggy three hours- you’ve called Astarion a primadonna a couple times and he’s called you a stubborn bull a few more, but overall it’s going very well after you take a sip of water and he gets a few blissful moments from your wrist. Unquenchable thirst and stake outs never mix.

Something has to be up. The sheep sound unnatural. You both think the sheep will reveal whatever their secret is eventually, but they will not budge.

You’ve offered them snacks, pets, kind words, a generous amount of “BAAs” in return- Astarion even jumped around the corner and scared one of the damn things and yet you are both just as stumped as you had been 3 hours ago.

Unfortunately for these poor sheep, you are a very stubborn Warlock with a nose for shenanigans and have befriended a rogue who encourages (and enables) your thirst for chaos. Neither one of you is willing to walk away until an answer presents itself.

“Maybe- hey get that look off your face-,” You whisper and gently push him as he gives you an unamused look, “I think I figured it out!”

“Your last guess was that the sheep were all going mad from Giardia, my Sweet,” he smirks, “I don’t think Giardia is the direct cause for their baaa-ing sound being so bizarre.”

You feel your face burn up from the pet name and you look away, clearing your throat.

“Yes, I admit that I goofed your Magistrateliness- I said a silly, unforgivable thing,” you say with crocodile tears, “but I think we are overcomplicating this whole thing.”

Astarion raises one his eyebrows at you, “is that so? Please enlighten me, my Dear fearless Knight.”

You roll your eyes so hard you think they may fall out- you are the least knightley person you know. Astarion snorts at your cross eyedness when you finally look at him again with your theatrical unamused smile. Your tadpole wriggles behind your eyes before a fleeting warmth goes through your body and you see your own face through Astarion’s eyes.

Silly and beautiful.

Happiness.

You pinch yourself- willing the tadpole to stop intruding on Astarion’s thoughts and feelings. Although those sentiments make you very very happy- you will not push the matter. Astarion can take it at his pace- he’s been under a shitty, abusive vampire lord for 200 years and he deserves the respect. You only slept together a few days ago anyway- you can be patient.

“Why don’t we just shoot one of the sheep?” You ponder, “if it’s a spell, it will break and then we’ll know they aren’t really sheep. If they are sheep, then we have sheep for dinner!”

Astarion snorts, “really? You’d eat the potentially Giardia ridden sheep? I wish I could say I expected more from you, Darling.”

You glare at him and his cheeky grin. You look away with a pout and feel a cold pair of lips kiss your cheek. Your heart beat picks up.

“I’m only teasing, Darling,” he whispers into your ear, “I maybe only expected slightly better of you.”

“You- Mister Magistrate- are very very mean.”

“I never said I was nice,” he says with a shit eating grin, “well- I’m nice where it counts at least.”

It takes you a second and then you realize what he is saying. He certainly isn’t wrong, but it doesn’t make the blush running up your face any less embarrassing or the way you feel yourself clench around nothing at the thought.

Astarion looks far too pleased with himself and your body’s giddiness in response. You try to change the subject before your words give you away as much as your body already has.

“Do you want to shoot the sheep or should I?”

He scoffs, “I can’t believe that’s even a question. I’m obviously going to be shooting the mangy, river diseased sheep.”

“I should have never said the Giardia thing,” you mutter under your breath.

“No,” he grins, “you really shouldn’t have.”

You watch as he gets his crossbow set up, his delicate hands work assuredly. You follow the flexing of his arms as they work to get the bolt in and get lost in the valleys of concentration on his face. It’s stupid how beautiful he is.

The sound of the arrow whizzing through the air, the loud guttural shriek from the sheep, and the putrid smell of bog water fills your senses all at once.

“Shit.”

You look down and see exactly what Astarion is referring to- the sheep are Redcaps. Of course they are Redcaps! How did you not think of that!? Their beady eyes are looking high and low- one is actually crying over it’s fallen companion which makes you feel like a bit of a dick.

“Aw man,” you whisper, “now I feel like a jerk. We didn’t even give them a fair chance.”

“Life isn’t fair, my Dear,” Astarion whispers matter-of-factly, “which is why we should spend less time empathizing with the things and more time getting out of here.”

You both sneak around to find a pathway that will allow you to waltz away from your mishap before you are overrun by Redcaps. Astarion taps your knee and gestures to a path that will allow you both to get away undetected. You are so grateful you learned how to sneak around like a rogue in your urchin years because oh boy- it was not an easy path to navigate in a full squat.

You both begin running as soon as you are out of the Fey creatures’ vision and you begin to laugh as you come to a halt. It’s a wild laugh filled with adrenaline. It feels so good to be alive.

Astarion stops ahead of you and tries to gesture to be quiet, but it was too late- Wyll was already standing there and looking at both of you like he’s your disappointed mother.

“Three hours!?” Wyll exclaims, “it took you three hours to find one Hag’s house!? The Swamp isn’t even that big!”

“Actually,” you state with fake confidence, “we found out quite a lot of helpful information today.”

“For example,” Astarion quips, “the sheep are infected with Giardia.”

“So help me Gods Astarion!,” you say with a huff before turning back to Wyll, “the Sheep are red caps.”

Wyll was significantly less annoyed after you revealed that information and grumbled about how that is actually helpful information before storming off. You turn to Astarion with a cheeky smile on your face.

“Ha- shows him!” You say with pride, “did you hear that? HELPFUL!”

Astarion rolls his eyes at you, but you can tell he is equally as thrilled as you are.

“I’m still saddened by how little he trusts us to get anything done,” Astarion says with feign hurt, “whatever will I do if our local Knight in Shining Armor is so irritated with me that he won’t come to my aid?”

You know the question is hypothetical, rhetorical even, but you leap up onto the nearest boulder and look upon him- your right hand in a fist over your chest.

“Magistrate- Administer of Bog Laws and entertainer of Sheep Thrills- I pledge my sword to thee! Ye shall never know neglect at the hands of a Knight ever again!”

“Hmmm, but I feel rather neglected by you, my Dear.”

You frown and feel worry fill your body. You hop off the rock and walk over quickly. Astarion looks surprised to see how seriously you have taken his words.

“What did I do? Or I suppose what do I need to d-“

Astarion cups your face with his hands and interrupts your rambling with a chaste kiss. He pulls back and throws his head back in laughter at your flustered expression.

“I-“ you clear your throat, “I must apologize- I did not realize such services were wanted! I shall erectify my mistake starting now!”

“Erectify?” Astarion snorts, “don’t you mean rectify?”

“Oh no,” you smile mischievously, “I know exactly what I said.”

“You are the biggest weirdo I have ever met,” Astarion states affectionately, “you do know that, don’t you?”

“Good! It means I’m not replaceable.”

“Oh Darling, you are anything but,” Astarion presses a soft kiss to your forehead, “you will come to my bed tonight, won’t you?”

“Of course- shall I come to you in the cover of the night,” you tease, “or should I attempt an insane series of parkour moves to avoid being seen?”

“Oh good Gods,” Astarion shakes his head, the smile on his face betraying his attempt at exasperation, “how about this instead-”

You raise your eyebrow at him with confusion and Astarion gestures for you to walk forward. As the two of you turn to camp, you suppress the urge to squeal like a schoolgirl when he intertwines your hand in his as you walk back together.

[just-patchy]

💜(Cringe) 2020 Grateful Thing💜

so uh people been tagging me in those ‘tag ppl you’re grateful to have met or whatever in 2020’ posts and i’m just gonna make my own for that and try to say something about everyone instead of reblogging bc i’d absolutely miss someone otherwise hsjdhsjd

@oiseaunoir11: one of the first friends I ever made in the twst fandom and on tumblr in general? I was pretty intimidated bc most of the twst creators I heard of at the time were already pretty well-established and I didn’t have the courage to reach out to anyone. Can’t believe we became friends just through me being shippy in the tags shdjhsjdjs I’m super glad to have met you bestie and ily a lot! You went through a lot and you deserve love, support, and a break 💜💜

@rikanoctrix: another person I was super intimidated by bc I see any sort of good art and I’m like “yeaaaaaa no I’m not worthy” ahdjshsjs, super nice and caring!! I’m too shy to talk to you still sometimes but 👉👈

@multi-ankin: are we still besties yes or no- actually are we still friends yes or no??? i know you’ve been busy or whatever but i literally cannot without like at least a greeting every 3 days, anyways hi i still appreciate you v v v much and we should probably talk more hsjdhsjdjs

@its-alvi-tar: we don’t talk that much nowadays but hi!! I don’t have much to say aside from v v v nice person and a r t, also can i get german lessons from u and rika pls

@thetwstwildcard: super cool, brainrot always, i still remember we started with fox gang and now we got cat harem and syzygy too shdjhsjdhsbs thank you for all the validation you have given by sending me asks and thereby giving me permission to go ham with brainrot uwu

@bakujho: really cool and badass, honestly thank you for giving people a platform to speak up about gravedigging drama, also felt safe opening up to you so thanks for that!! would talk more with you if i weren’t so easily intimidated all the time so i’ll prolly try and work on that??

@ellovett: hi gamer :3 another really cool person!!! super friendly, i just have the courage of a bean www we!!! gotta!!! talk!!! more!!! i hope we can have more shenanigan moments in the future shdjhsjdjs

@unidraky: hiiii another person I haven’t rly talked with a lot hsjdhsjdjsj anyways!! thanks for the art advice you gave n’ stuff!!! it’s pretty useful!!

@ashygrotthoe: rly fun to talk to! should bring back gay 1 and gay 2 nicknames hsjshjfhsnd anyways yeah thank u for listening to (or i guess reading) my lil bisaster rambles and also my uh poetry(?)

@toadodoki @twst-zombie: shjdhsjdhsj you two are super fun to be around and infectious energy is a thing!!!! thank y’all for enabling my chaotic energy to just go ham

@peteza-mozzarella: probably the sweetest person i’ve ever met in the span of uh 1-2 months??? idk time doesn’t exist in 2020, really cute, 12/10 would hug

@mofuyuu: the first person who ever drew fanart of my oc i believe? i remember being super excited when i secretly used my phone at school and i was really happy about it! thanks for that!! (super cute art btw)

@ratgoddess-v: thank u for putting in effort to talk to me and sorry that convos always end up kinda dying down cause i cannot with thinking of conversation topics shdjhsjdhdjs

@fumikomiyasaki @rebellious-princess-athie @xena0212 @kuruispams @ocean-water-tea @girl-in-the-tower @twistedikon @keyenuta @nobleswansong @arigatou-gozaimalleus @araminta-lemontea @roseparfaits @starrymothwings @eclipsezero @shoujoqueensstuff @halloweenismyfav @zonamemoryverse @vorvexia @supergals and i hope i didn’t leave anyone out! at least not the people i’m not afraid to tag (for now)! i checked like 10 times i hope not, if i don’t tag you it’s bc i only have so much courage before i lose steam ok

before i finish this post, a moment of silence for the mutuals who left tumblr and/or have no way to contact them otherwise, both with and without notice 😔😔 you guys were fun to talk to even though i barely talked to anyone back then tbh

I love y’all and thank you for sticking with this wacky 16 yr old (still thinks it’s funny people thought i was older wwww), it hasn’t been a year since I made this blog, but 2020 has been a very questionable year for me, especially with mentally/emotionally since a lot of things happened! I can’t say I’m ending this year on a healthy note, but hey at least I got a crowd of people I got to meet :3c 💜💜💜💜💜

[myheartismadeofstars]

I posted 26,623 times in 2021

65 posts created (0%)

26558 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 408.6 posts.

I added 73 tags in 2021

#i read tgcf - 10 posts

#tgcf - 10 posts

#xie lian - 8 posts

#hua cheng - 8 posts

#hualian - 8 posts

#pokemon - 6 posts

#tian guan ci fu - 6 posts

#san lang - 6 posts

#supernatural - 6 posts

#heaven's official blessing - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#my sister and i used to make up nonsensical lullabies for my younger brother when he was little so he’d go to sleep and the laughter that e

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Imagine Marnie has a huge crush on Gloria, but she’s shy even though she LOVES her weird and extremely scottish friend, she’s not confident enough to confess.

So Piers watches as his sister pines (full fledged “listening-to-sad-love-songs-in-her-bedroom-I-think-I-saw-Marnie-steal-Gloria’s-Hoodie” pining) over this girl that he is 99% sure likes her back. But it’s not like he’s a good example of what to do, he’s been pining in complete silence over Raihan for years.

Meanwhile both Gloria and Raihan have been trying to pick up Marnie and Piers respectively for a while. They even both decide that the correct course of action is to befriend the sibling, to try and endear themselves to their crushes (and neither finds it hard, since Gloria thinks Piers is cool af and one of the nicest people she’s ever met, and Raihan knows how sweet Marnie is)

Basically Spikemuth siblings are romantic disasters. Overcome by two dumbasses’ pure determination to love them.

96 notes • Posted 2021-04-12 20:07:35 GMT

#4

Me: *watching Unus Annus compilations*

Also me: Imagine Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua doing some of this chaotic shit together. Like playing two truths and a lie, waxing edition, or covering their entire bodies in wax, or making the people around them genuinely afraid that someone is going to die or it will end in a dual suicide, or regressing to their most primal selves in the woods somewhere, or just generally living a “try everything once” kinda life and keeping some sort of record of it for one year (bonus if there is some bullshit plot device thing that allows them to record their antics. However they don’t yeet it after the year because the memories are too precious) just, every day, for a year, the two of them do something together. Fun, or crazy, or silly, or whatever wacky shenanigans they can get up to in the world SQH created (which I imagine must be A LOT)

Luo Binghe can be the “Amy” of the story. Sometimes he’s just the one recording their antics, sometimes he’s the one enabling their chaotic behaviour, sometimes he’s absent  and they are freaking out over him finding out they..stained the floor, or almost caught the house on fire, something like that. Though I suppose MBJ could play the “Don’t tell Amy!” role better than LBH would...but meh.

Is this technically an Unus Annus AU? Maybe? Either way I think it would be fun to see (this is open to anyone to do btw, I have so many projects atm)

112 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 08:34:25 GMT

#3

Bless the TGCF fandom for the fics that allow Xie Lian and Mu Qing to get around their curse cultivation method and allow them to have sex. Especially when they say that love = pure so having sex with someone who genuinely loves you it doesn’t break the taboo. 

Because they deserve to be able to have sex without being punished for it!

(This is especially fun if you think about it in Fengqing terms. Because the idea that the person in his life who loves him purely and without reservations is FENG XIN is fucking hilarious)

125 notes • Posted 2021-01-03 00:57:43 GMT

#2

Finally reading Heaven’s Official Blessing and:

I love “San Lang”. This bitch really leaned on his hand and casually said “I’m scared” without any fucking attempt at appearing so, gazed lovingly at Xie Lian, and told a bunch of ghosts to fuck off and stop interrupting his date. AND flirted with Xie Lian. What a fucking icon!

Also Xie Lian correctly bullshitting his fate, this amuses me greatly

130 notes • Posted 2021-01-08 02:55:14 GMT

#1

I love to headcanon Pucca is genuinely mute. She became attracted to Garu the first time she saw him, but she really fell in love when she learned he was “like her” and didn’t speak.

Some of the sounds she can make sound a bit like words, but they aren’t truly words.

Pucca’s uncles never learned sign, and neither did she. Garu grew up in Sooga Village and never needed to learn (the people in the village just more or less adjusted to him not communicating except in grunts or gestures)

I like to imagine their silence never became an issue until they became teenagers (Garu first, obviously) and were told they would need to start attending high school, and the only school is on the mainland. Then Garu ends up forced to communicate with strangers and ends up learning sign, which ends up being taught/picked up by a lot of the others around the village. 

Pucca and Garu’s relationship ends up being a lot smoother once they have a reliable way to communicate. Pucca learns that Garu doesn’t really like PDA and they just genuinely have different love languages (Physical Touch with a bit of ironic words of affirmation for Pucca vs Quality Time and a bit of Acts or Service for Garu) but she calms down a bit (a bit) once her and Garu start actually dating which in turn makes Garu more comfortable (since his biggest issue was that she came on too strong)

186 notes • Posted 2021-01-23 17:14:08 GMT

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